A Message to the Masses.

Dear Students of the University of Texas,

After being with you for all of 3 weeks, I have a few things to say:

1. Learn to walk: As I hope you have noticed, there are busier times around campus when everyone is trying to get to class. This is NOT the time to spread 7 across the entire sidewalk (which, by the way, was built big enough to accommodate large amounts of people, so that's saying something if you are blocking it). If you are a slower walker (which is ok.. really, that doesn't bother me) you should consider walking as close to the grass as possible. Better yet, just be aware of the people around you that would like to move a little quicker. If you are in the center of the sidewalk and get that strange feeling like someone is staring a laser beam right through your skull, someone probably is and that someone is probably me.
2. Learn to ride a bike: Just because your mode of travel has two wheels instead of two feet, that does not mean you are more important. Ok, maybe it does, but you guys really should watch the people around you. I was trying to get to my Kines class at Bellmont yesterday (only 5 minutes late... I'm getting faster, haha) and heard the dreaded my-bike-is-on-coast-because-I'm-going-down-a-hill clicky sound, making me turn around just in time to jump out of the way of an biker. Instead of riding on the emptier side of the shrubbery, you choose to plow through the thick of the student population around Speedway and 24th. You know the spot. Invest in a bell or something... it would help us out. Note to fellow walkers: get out of the way of these inconsiderate bikers. They will not stop and they will run you over like the insignificant piece of foot traffic that you are.
3. Learn to SPEAK!: Holy freaking crap, I had no idea that communication is really this difficult. What could be said in 5 seconds you find a way to drag out to an entire pain-staking minute of awkwardness and word fumbling. Plan what you are going to say before you open your mouth. And I don't mean be ridiculous and prepare every single word, but have at least your first sentence in your mind. I have noticed that many of you hand-raisers have the general concept (actually, I'm being generous... some have the general concept) of what you'd like to share with the class, but I've heard SO many answers/responses that just meander through the brain that is attached to the speaking mouth that I want to smack you across the face. And if you watch the professor you are talking to, they nod their head and try to interject to keep moving, yet you continue to try to make sense and think aloud. Class time would be insanely more efficient if you would just be concise in your thought. Better yet, let someone else speak. I bet they can get the message across without misleading their peers to write random, pointless notes trying to follow your thought pattern.
4. Learn to smell like nothing: Regular body aroma is one thing, but when you use coconut melon shampoo, raspberry conditioner, sweet pea body splash, and vanilla lotion, that is not being nice to those forced to sit next to you for 45 minutes or 75 minutes. If you find that your chair neighbor is leaning away from you, constantly has their hand to their nose, or is sneezing, I may be talking to you. Pick one scent. It's not bad to smell nice, it's bad to have everything that the nose identifies as "girlie" on your body at the same time.
5. Learn this: Yes, everyone is eavesdropping on your conversation in hopes of hearing something to add to the great Facebook group "Overheard at UT." Happy convos!!

If you do not apply to any of these issues, then I love you for making Austin awesome. Thank you for using your brain. And that is sincere, no sarcasm here :)

ESPN comes out tonight for band, meaning it is fringe time. Not sure which I'm going to count as my first fringe experience, though... tonight to sit in the stands and play the Indiana Jones theme or on Saturday when we BTHO Arkansas. Probably the game... sounds way cooler.